Blog: Befriender
Tarmini
I am currently a volunteer with an organisation called Befriend that's been running in Ealing for quite a long time and have just recently expanded their operations to Hounslow.
The service has two branches; general befriending, that tends to be more centred around people who are elderly, frail or have a physical disability.
The second branch is around mental health befriending. So that's people who have complex mental health needs. They generally tend to suffer from exclusions on a few fronts – and they tend to be a little bit younger. They're often people who have had a sudden change in life circumstances.
Once you've gone through the training and have had the DBS check, you receive some guidance around what's expected of your relationship with the person that you're going to be befriending, and then you write up a bit of a profile on what your interests are, your background, what you've studied, where you've lived, what your hobbies are, etc.
The volunteer coordinators then use that information to match you up with someone. Generally, they'll try and choose someone who maybe has a shared interest with you or has experienced something similar to you, and they try to encourage people with lived experience of a mental health disorder.
The types of activities you do with your ‘befriendee’ can vary. So, you might take them to places that maybe they wouldn't be able to go to without you or a companion. Essentially, you’re helping them to do things that they'd choose to do if they were able to do anything they want. For example, they might suffer with social anxiety, and they might not be able to go out, but they really enjoy walking their dog in the park. So, your role could simply be spending an hour each week helping them refamiliarize themself with going out for a walk in the park.
It’s about helping the ‘befriendee’ to regain confidence, especially as they're usually people who have previously worked or been in education, and have suddenly gone from a bit of social contact to very, very little. They might not have family or friends that live nearby. Befrienders are there to be a friend to someone who’s struggling with isolation or loneliness – someone who is a stable, reliable, and non-judgemental presence in their life for at least a year.
