Blog: Aziza
Aziza Anjum, 22, is currently enjoying an eighteen-month stint as an Organisational Development and Learning Partner Apprentice at Hounslow Council. She has lived experience of the care system and here she considers the positive effect it has had on her personal development.
As someone that was looked after for six years, the fact I am sitting here writing this now is honestly surreal.
Whilst being fostered was a turbulent period of my life (it was coupled with the mixed emotions of becoming a teenager), I am whole-heartedly grateful to be where I am now. I truly believe that lived experience is invaluable, and when used right, it can truly be your strength.
I still remember the day I was placed like it was yesterday. I was 12 years old, and after six weeks of staying in paediatric care, I was finally released into the care of my foster mother. I remember sitting in that meeting room at the hospital, not knowing what or more importantly, who to expect. When she arrived, her warm smile immediately put me at ease. Admittedly, I was nervous and anxious, but the fact she welcomed me in with open arms and treated me like a daughter moulded me into the assertive, self-assured young woman I am today.
I distinctly remember the journey home when she bought me my favourite food, and over the months that followed, she used patience and understanding to enable me to open up. Was it perfect? No, but is anything ever perfect? The individuals I met and lived with in that placement remain close friends to this day. One of my foster sisters went home to live with her mother and is thriving, another has three beautiful children. My foster brother is currently at Uni and is working hard. When you see people that you’ve lived with self-actualise and reach their potential, it’s heart-warming.
It makes you realise it isn’t necessarily all bad, there is light and goodness in everything. You just have to know where to look for it, and that happens with time of course.
Growing up in my parents’ house, birthdays were almost an abstract concept. In the 12 years I was living at home, my birthday was only celebrated twice, and I always found this occasion a source of anxiety. But my social worker at the time, Deborah, baked me the most beautiful Victoria sponge cake, and even got me candles for it. It is still the best I have ever eaten!
When I was 15, I become involved with becoming a Total Respect* trainer. I was already doing Children in Care Council from the age of twelve and was curious to get further involved, and it started my journey in terms of building my self-esteem and igniting my passion for advocating on behalf of young people.
I look back on being fostered as the most definitive period of my life. Whilst there was trauma, the lessons I learnt and support I received has enabled me to begin to self-actualise and maintain my journey of self-discovery and self-love.
*Total respect training is facilitated by Looked after Children and Care Leavers for those that work directly with young people in Hounslow. It has been in operation since 2006 in line with the Children's Act.
